Dear future me,
Please slap yourself. I don't care if your hands are trembling, or your eyes are burning. You asked for it. Your life isn't like a bag of candy, it's like a volcano. The calm, is always a calm before the storm. You've known this for years now. Even then when the storm comes, when the volcano erupts, you're still so surprised. You live in a bubble. This comfort bubble of yours, doesn't seem to pop. It's doing more harm than good, actually. It's making you weaker, and ignorant. Ignorant about what you're feeling. Ignorant about where your life is going. I'm sorry, girl your life is not the movies or the hipster quotes. You cannot bottle up everything all the time, and think that it's not going to bother you after a while. Remember, whatever goes around, comes around. I do not know if that is relevant, or not. But it's the only theory you need to keep constant in your mind where things are changing so rapidly, that you cannot keep track. Everything is a blur. You can cry all you want, but you're gonna have to wake up tomorrow and go about your daily activities like you always do. Nothing is going to change, and you cannot help it. You can scream all you want, but you're gonna have to do that math assignment, anyhow. You cannot live this life where you believe that everything goes according to you because it never does and it never will. You might think talking to your friends will help, but it's just going to help you conceal it better. But, then the day it's out, you're going to be so bitter, so different everything will fall apart. You can try but you can't put together glass pieces with glue for long. It's going to feel like nothing is real, and everything is out of reach. You just have to sit under the shower, not a warm comfortable shower, a cold shower that bites into your skin, and sit there for two hours. You need to get used to the cold, then come out of the shower, dry yourself, drink some warm water and get to work. You don't have time for things like falling apart and being lonely. You've been alone for 17 years, you can be like that for a little longer. That world map of yours isn't going to turn into reality if your tears fall on it, and baby, there's no fairy god mother and you're certainly not cinderella. Get up, smack yourself, and get some work done. You aren't going to succeed with this giving up attitude of yours. Nothing is falling apart, nobody is leaving. It's all in your head. It will always be in your head, you have to fight it. I know you can. I know you will.
Sincerely,
It's not worth your time.
Shreya xo
Please slap yourself. I don't care if your hands are trembling, or your eyes are burning. You asked for it. Your life isn't like a bag of candy, it's like a volcano. The calm, is always a calm before the storm. You've known this for years now. Even then when the storm comes, when the volcano erupts, you're still so surprised. You live in a bubble. This comfort bubble of yours, doesn't seem to pop. It's doing more harm than good, actually. It's making you weaker, and ignorant. Ignorant about what you're feeling. Ignorant about where your life is going. I'm sorry, girl your life is not the movies or the hipster quotes. You cannot bottle up everything all the time, and think that it's not going to bother you after a while. Remember, whatever goes around, comes around. I do not know if that is relevant, or not. But it's the only theory you need to keep constant in your mind where things are changing so rapidly, that you cannot keep track. Everything is a blur. You can cry all you want, but you're gonna have to wake up tomorrow and go about your daily activities like you always do. Nothing is going to change, and you cannot help it. You can scream all you want, but you're gonna have to do that math assignment, anyhow. You cannot live this life where you believe that everything goes according to you because it never does and it never will. You might think talking to your friends will help, but it's just going to help you conceal it better. But, then the day it's out, you're going to be so bitter, so different everything will fall apart. You can try but you can't put together glass pieces with glue for long. It's going to feel like nothing is real, and everything is out of reach. You just have to sit under the shower, not a warm comfortable shower, a cold shower that bites into your skin, and sit there for two hours. You need to get used to the cold, then come out of the shower, dry yourself, drink some warm water and get to work. You don't have time for things like falling apart and being lonely. You've been alone for 17 years, you can be like that for a little longer. That world map of yours isn't going to turn into reality if your tears fall on it, and baby, there's no fairy god mother and you're certainly not cinderella. Get up, smack yourself, and get some work done. You aren't going to succeed with this giving up attitude of yours. Nothing is falling apart, nobody is leaving. It's all in your head. It will always be in your head, you have to fight it. I know you can. I know you will.
Sincerely,
It's not worth your time.
Shreya xo
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